A letter from December 7th, 2020

Dear Valli, I want to marvel and keep marvelling. I want the feeling of making so many disparate connections that it makes my mind explode with possibility and suddenly see the same reality in a whole new way. I also want to enable others to have this feeling - by teaching and by guiding. I also want to find that marvel in the things I'm already doing. To find that "Aha-" moment and a movement of myself - body and brain - when I'm dancing and singing. The sense of absolute freedom is one I've never experienced at any other moment in time. I want to share in this moment of marvel with another person - watch the realization light up their eyes and the excitement seize their being. Hold his hand and look into his eyes when this is happening. Be..with him. This is why I feel grateful to be alive. I want to sit in a lecture hall, listening with rapture as the pieces for this marvel come together in my mind and I have an experience of "*that* is why. *This* is why." I want to go to the teacher after the class to tell her what I felt and share all of the ways I see what she said making sense. I want it to make sense. Everything. All the different activities and threads in my life, merging into a coherent whole, into a pursuit of a common goal. I want to go through the entire process from not knowing, to knowing, to wisdom, to the intuitive feeling of "I have reached. I have found." I want this to happen wherever I am, whatever I am doing. When I'm reading, I'm writing, when I'm thinking, I'm singing, I'm dancing, I'm watching and when I'm simply sitting. I want to always be honest about who I am and never hide this part of me. This is me being authentic. I want it to be enough to survive, to live. I want to follow that Marvel, wherever it goes - like going behind a butterfly. Love and Blessings, You.