A letter from November 12th, 2020

Hey Brooke, This is your 15 year old self. November 11, 2020 to be exact. To be quite honest, I don't even know how to begin this letter. Right now I'm sitting in my bedroom procrastinating on my Anatomy homework, and decided to instead think about what the heck I'm doing with my life. To be completely honest, your 10th grade self is not 'happy'. I know, I know, I had an amazing childhood that many kids would have given everything for, and I am extremely lucky and blessed to have the life I have. However, I don't quite know what the crap I'm doing anymore. Recently, I feel like I'm just living for tomorrow, just hoping that my life will be worth living. Right now, I am praying, hoping, that this letter will reach you where I am actually looking forward to living another day. I hope that when this email is delivered, you are not just 'going through the motions' but genuinely feeling something real. Looking back on this letter, I realize I sound incredibly self-absorbed and naive about the world. Of course, I am still going to have problems. When this reaches you, I'll be a broke college student doing who knows what. I'm eventually going to have to pay taxes, and get a job, and support myself, which sounds less difficult than I bet it is. However, I want to be one step closer to living out my goals (whatever they may be). Hey, you. Yes, I'm talking to you. Go outside and watch the sunset. Whatever time this reaches you, go outside and watch the next sunset (or sunrise, but that's not the point). I swear, skip whatever studying or 'night out' (idk what kind of kid we will be) and go do it. I hope you don't need me to remind you of why they are my favorite things on the planet. Oh goodness, this is getting kind of embarassing. If any people are reading this over your shoulder, Hello. Sorry you had to read about how my 15 year old self is having a mid-life crisis:) In case you have no memory of this letter, or are too drunk to remember (you won't be 21 when reading this letter, so you better not:)] you just watched the movie Clouds by Disney, and that's what originally got you thinking. If I died tomorrow, what would I have accomplished? In truth, absolutely nothing. To be honest, you would probably be forgotten by 99% of the people you met in your (our) life. Only a handful of people would be truly saddened. So, here's my goal for you: Live like tomorrow isn't promised. Because it's not. It's as simple as that. And for goodness sake, please don't give up. On your hopes, on your life, on a person, etc. Don't regret what you haven't done. You only have one life, so freaking live it. Live the life that your 15 year old self would dream of. Brooke, 15