A letter from November 1st, 2020

Dear Future Rachel, I guess, do you still call yourself Rachel? Probably, I'd say I'm comfortable with that. We're still in the pandemic. The election is in two days. Two ******* Days. I'm so worried. I want to be optimistic, I really do, but I just can't seem to be. I've talked to so many people about it, Liv, Casey, Sid, Ethan, Anina..... I'm a lil anxiety boi. Do things get better? They must. I've realized that it's hard for me to see hope for the future, and honestly to see a point in the future if Trump is re-elected. Things could get so so so much worse. I mean Amy Coney-Barrett is already on the ******* Supreme Court. This isn't a suicide note by any means, I just find it hard to imagine a positive future right now. At least I'm on campus, I have my friends close by and my community on hand. I guess I'll send this five years in the future, by then we'll know if Trump is out of office yet. Hopefully. Well, my main thing was that the pandemic ******* sucks bro. I've lost so much. The first years at Mac have lost so much. I've lost time with my dear and beloved friends. I guess it's been nice to realize that I am close enough to my friends to stay in touch with them over long distances and long periods of time, but it still sucks man. For Liv and Casey, we've now spent more time apart than the entire time we were together at Mac. I! Hate! This! Casey mentioned getting an apartment with Liv (and Sib?) today ! I think that could be a new adventure, something a bit scary, but incredible to be in a space with the people that I love. Okay, this isn't my journal. I just wanted to send a little something into the future. It's so important to chronicle my life and thoughts rn, sometimes I'm just a little to tired or sad to do it. <3 I hope the future is better. - 20 yr old Rachel!