Time Travelled — 12 months Epilogue

A letter from July 26th, 2020

Dear FutureMe,
A quick hello... I was just wondering, are you still with your girlfriend? If not, are you single or are you with someone else?
I'm proud of you if you two managed to last... It's only been a few weeks and I really like her, but wow it feels weird to think this will last a while. To be completely honest, I'm kinda paranoid about it. She doesn't want to rush things and now that's all I can think about: am I moving too fast? Too slow? Is she getting bored? When or how will I know if I'm moving too fast? I have no idea if I'm being too clingy or giving her too much space. This is my first ever relationship (well, I know you know that but still...), I have no idea what I'm doing. If you're still together, did you go to the winter dance together? Did you do anything for Valentine's day? How was Junior Prom? If you've been together over a year, does that mean you two, well... (you get the picture)?
If you're no longer a couple, did you manage to stay friends? How did it affect your group's dynamic?

Even though our girlfriend is the reason I wanted to write this, I also have a few unrelated questions:
How did junior year go? I hope it wasn't too hard, that you didn't burn out, that you stayed close to your current friend group...
How was your Sweet Sixteen? As of right now, I still have no idea what I want to do, but I want it to be great! (very specific, I know)
What's the deal with the Coronavirus? Did you have quarantine again? Or a 2nd wave? How did it affect your exams? Are you able to go visit your family overseas during summer? Right now I'm still stuck at home...
What are you thinking for University? Are you still thinking about English and stuff?
Did your fashion sense change/evolve? I want to look different but I don't quite have the funds for it. Did you get the grunge/skater girl look? Or do you like other stuff now? Did you finally master eyeliner? This may be slightly ambitious but... pleaaaaase tell me you glowed up??? I need to know if I'm finally pretty.

I think this is all I want to know, sooooo yeah.
Good luck with your girlfriend, good luck with your exams and good luck with senior year.

Jul 26th, 2020 → Jul 26th, 2021 • 413 words

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Dear PastMe,
You're not gonna like this but whatever.
I would like to preface this by saying that the person you were dating is nonbinary, so he's your partner, not gf. Okay, now let's get into it...
First off, nope. That's it, just nope. He dumped me just before back to school, so I'm single, but we had an on/off flirting thing for about 8 or 10 months afterward, which mentally destroyed me. I'm now finally trying to move on, but it's hard sometimes... For various reasons. Sorry to tell you this, but yes you were definitely moving too fast. Not necessarily during your relationship, but more getting into it. Come on, dating someone after talking for two weeks? Even a lesbian like you should know that's too fast (btw you're a lesbian, not bi). I hope you don't think you were too clingy, you did everything right. Me now, tho... HA! I'm clinging onto them for dear life...
Okay so yada yada yada we broke up blabla and anyway, all the dances were canceled due to covid, so yeah. And no, we didn't... (obviously)
We did manage to stay friends, yeah, but sometimes I wish we hadn't? Like that I could've had closure, and we would have avoided all the back and forth... I don't think it affected the group, because all of our flirting and shit happened by message.
Junior year was, by far, the hardest year of my life. I felt like I was going to burn out at any second, my anxiety got worse, I had depressive episodes and panic attacks, and started going to therapy. Still, I managed to get great grades all year long, and I'm on the right track for the schools I want to attend in 2022. As for my friends? It's... complicated. We're close, very close even, but it's mentally draining. There's so much drama and people are annoying and they're kind of bad people, so yeah. I'm just powering through.
My Sweet Sixteen was canceled because of Covid.
The Coronavirus got a lot worse, but now with the vaccine it's going better... Except that they're predicting a 4th wave by next month, which isn't great. A few of my exams got canceled, but not the finals, and I'm overseas right now! :)
I'm studying English/ Creative writing, and right now I'm hoping to go to England, if all goes well... I can't wait!
My fashion sense is still evolving, I guess. My gender is complicated right now, so I'm exploring different ways to present myself. I'd say I'm more skater boy, if anything, but I don't have a set aesthetic. I wear whatever makes me happy :) I haven't mastered eyeliner at. ALL. but who cares? I wear it anyway. I definitely haven't had a glow up, sorry, but I think I know myself a bit more, and every once in a while I get the confidence to post pics of myself looking hot.
Good luck with this year, you're going to need it. Remember this: no one can determine your worth but you, and just because your ex can't love you doesn't mean no one can.

Updated on Jul 26th, 2021  |  529 words