Dear Me
Are you scared? I know we thought it would never get better but does it? Do we stay with Aurora or do we meet someone new? Have you fulfilled our dreams yet? Are we still going to be a teacher? Have we gotten better? You're turning 19 today huh? Is it fun? Right now its 5:24 pm on may 24th 2020. I just turned 13 and I'm in love. Are we still friends with Frances, and Cadence, and Arissa and Bella? Have we gotten our first tattoo yet. Do you still write? Have we gotten better at writing and singing? Have we been in a play?
Is it terrifying to grow up?
Do we still think about our bio dad?
Is mom doing okay? Say Hi to her for me! And Dad! I guess the kids too because when you read this they'll be 10 right? As i'm writing this their still four. And loud too.
I'm scared
I'm scared for mom
I'm scared that the person I hope is the love of my life might leave me.
How do I even know you're reading this? You might've died by now and whoever has this email is getting a horrible surprise. Do me a favor okay? Give yourself a hug. You made it through all of the ******** you had to deal with in your life and I'll be damned if ill let you throw away how incredible you are. Get your *** to the best school and show the world that your ready to rule it. I'm proud of you. It's okay if you still don't know who you are. Get your **** together and breath. You've lived this god**** long and you better appreciate it. Do you still paint? This letter is all over the **** place but its you so you know it would be. Did you ever take up knitting like you said you would? And I know I've mentioned her already in this letter but tell Aurora I said hi. I don't care if we're together or if we even spoken in months, just call her and say hi because no matter how you feel about her as your reading this, the you writing this is so in love with her. Take a moment and make something. Write someone a letter, bake something, just get up. Did you ever get over you're hatred of tea? I hope you did because I've heard some good stuff about it. It sucks that I don't know whats happening to you right now because I would write some questions better for you. Hey, do me another favor and stay alive. I love you
Epilogue
about 22 hours later
Y’know I was really nervous to open this letter. I know how bad we were back then and I was scared this would just send me spiraling back. I am...
Csader. Knhti and lliw i eb fo i ym im’ rdceas rof a eihwl ielf drvaeyye. Sisrgprene lla do tsnur lngo laultyac eht we rtme otu hsa sefftce. Mi’ aws ni whti oyu idevl e’erw rldwo nad httgouh a aehthly rvee olev sroyr rhe eherw t?huhtog ’dwevoul ont who you ar,uora. Veah eb ggnio sanposi listl dan ot it a i rfo ma a i reteach od lylare. T,eebrt i gneott eayrll i do evw’e iknth tuylr. W’vee you ubt atwh nedeed hte sthi uoy hottguh udfon ti thnik mtei i adh uyo olev astw’n. Woh owt veig vhea uoy love rof you uyo you era ldrwo orf teh ersindf ohw htta adn uolwd oepelp. Tlneurfqey ra()ts laleb ear,nfsc o’ndt i lsitl i ira,sas ubt ot nda altk ebremrem nadecce aslt imet dktale or hte yuo. Tno’d emht vnlgio ptso rvee i hktin l’oylu. A eno duwol nlfyail blybrpao did ectpxe ton oao,ttt get yuo hhltouga we. Hgo,uth icwhh anrcitemf ned het otque a sit’ knwo from dwoul mope i uyo leov. Eolv i erve tweri oemr no oyu neth ew ddi aoguthlh to rteopy ltlis sfuco. Uto niseeglf hte bad ehlps ti gte. Adn evmrdpoi i teryh’e thgsni ohtb ilskls tabuo aspeontsai ruo sya tllsi dan hwit ewe’r ’ewev gnsigni irtiwgn luowd. Os wno i i a ni pu that amojr did ’tis deovl our edn nda ti pyal, chum. Sense ekam su teahter na veisg for elotut enwh eth otnd’se dowrl. Pu gnorgiw si iltlet rsacy a. Klei not usnrttnciios giodn do ’erwe nya elveebi wtah utb eedn to orf you eyllra wlel di’ to pretty eet’rsh. Tiknh ihs dda yaw vere ’lewl i be e’wre he tbu ’tdno dan twih eoslc own ni tsrei ton. Nwhe memerreb hte onrtpamit ewer ot oppele ttah ronb eh erase ustj iflelbal ear a idk ti dan ni,pa sdn’eto saw ew iewlh ’its. Netotg osmm’ wroes. Ownk saw awlasy ehlhat i ehr trwso pvoeimr oryu atht veren but mrgiahtne did. Het oercssp whti aarz hsse’ fo ohtrn ejo dan imvgno vicrgdnoi ni icrnoaal ot. Relzaei rwee ’mi uoy tuhr dan eht to oto rorys lnyo yuong im’ ohw to uyo rea ahtt rvee epeplo evlo mtena oyrsr yu,o htat. Oyln teh rea d,oog i diks lgtaohuh aobtu nowk zaar. Recvdreoe and uor ttah saw a eon leylra gao form sha yaers efw uijnts no emvdo omeh mfor. A(los )oldu abby h’sse gsnhti a z ruo onwgr awlasy es’hs tol to eb ihwt lslti fo sey tbu iglr ggnio st’eher. Who you ecsrda knwo i were. Hte nwko tog lla tmei vrgehnetiy akdr bad inshgt i nda owh hwo smeede. Eahv keam rcasde i ifrnryiget ysa elss tlisl wnok i shnitg tub that smee polpee i wodlu mi’. Ont viale igogn imntyea onso nad er’we ghcane satht’ ot lsitl. Ginreha you say hetn elhsp ’mi ilrecbnedi i ilarzee uyo eorm ikhnt loduw. Be in nwta ot me uoy veli ofr eehr dopru gnebi way yuo ubt ttha ttah dlowu i ot f,o i ebemrmre inthk dnedee my proud i of a iefl loudw vene eb. Pu olo”,shc end dan arlley nto rwsneet while sbet eclog,el het“ od olev ni did ew i ’tis. Rgsead aizgmna ’sti rea ewnh uor uecesab artsm eylrla uboat ew raec tsffu we aer. I ysa keil to nowk i ohw btu will am i’m fi ersu eerv i not i’d. Swa i p,atin it cpeesa i iktnh ti dno’t reom fo hpayp an ubt sapi,nos atth it skaem hten dovle ctlaua an tills oyu me. Oury vero lraely taht snsee fo lal ulwdo the ouyr lfei etenir eb is nrtigiw it os celap yna asmke oot. Dan fundo it we etha hmuc ew os out intgtkin tdrie. Aynnnogi sa sit’ ehll. I oggni ot uot it ot erha otn hwo ot im’ htru hreac chum btu olwud nkow thsi uyo rhe. Nad llsit rhe wysa urht etl my ngyrit us i ni ot netaurnsdd hes cbka i’m tnoi esefru life to. Arredim reh on msom teh i aws hse efkobaco tooshp tog ryeln,tec. Hes os vsdreede fo it dan rsroy uyo lveo ryuo ttah geav hmcu rhe renve mi’. Dyaithrb a lcalytau aebk oru ddi dnefsir da,y i eakc otreh ofr estb amed teh i. Name ihm jc si uyo i raeod nikth dna shi uwdlo. We uro ,eat chhiw evro ferlidnigr evern ubota aseth egt su tdhear het rfo ddi. T, a b!o)y for hihcw ew ts’i yvere idkn od a ssreiur!p( ewke nyjeo ew do fo iisnoctjne ednertiff. I teim i go in cloud uoy nad sihw to altk kacb. Trohugh daem merpiso gntsih ti uoy i dan get eretbt thta. Heetr er’uoy lfie era htta eraeyyvd uoy sirhehc os pelepo to in adn oryu heav ulkcy ethm. Are’nt hyppa ew erew’ tefcrpe ubt. Vree yuo euescab tehn vco’euld i tgo loev i uoy eerh woh yuoe’r igeamind rome. Ouy here epek eb nrigyt tld’unwo nit’dd if i. Tub ietoessmm we asw tgiten,pm tride too eevn i kwno so onkw i pu ingivg oyu dti’nd ahtt. Nda mi’ you ceubsea i yuo tasdye lvoe eher.
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