Time Travelled — 12 months Epilogue

A letter from May 9th, 2020

Dear FutureMe,

Are you still in love with him?
I so badly wish he was the one. I’m sure you’re getting sick of me saying that by now.
I was looking through my pictures and found his and because I think he’s so attractive, the most attractive man I’ve seen, I decided to look at the picture. Pretty people are fun to look at, you know? I started to tear up though. I miss him terribly. I just want to hear his voice or even see a single text from him, just to make sure he’s alright. I don’t even care if it’s directed towards me.

Last night, I dreamt that I went back in time. I was back at NAU with Payton and I was determined to make it work. We were going to be friends.
I also wasn’t dating Anthony. I wanted to, but I knew that it would end in heartbreak, so I let him go. Until he showed up in a class with me and my teacher wanted me to help him out. And I just wanted to give him a huge hug and kiss, despite him not knowing me. I chickened out though. Good.
It’s been two months now I think and not a day goes by where I don’t want to text or call him. He doesn’t deserve that though. He deserves space. I just miss him so much. He was my first love. The thought that I’ve hurt him kills me and I just wish he was the one, I wish things were perfect between us but they weren't, despite therapy (flashback to when the therapist called me immature...). I hope he finds happiness. I hope he’s able to make money off the table top game he was trying to make, and I hope he is able to find the one and have the four kids he’s been wanting. I’m so sorry AWF. I am so sorry for wasting your time and for breaking your heart. I thought you were the one, but when I learned that you weren’t, I knew it wasn’t fair to continue. But damn do I wish you were because the world is going to shit right now and I need you in my life.
You will always have a special place in my heart and I will always love you.

May 9th, 2020 → May 9th, 2021 • 392 words

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Dear Past Me,

The breakup was rough. But now that I'm over him, girl you can do so much better. He was trash. He was mean, he was way too horned up all the time and honestly 18 and 24 was too big of a difference. Haven't talked to him in ages but I bet you anything he's 26 and still living with his parents. He no longer has a special place in our hearts and we DO NOT love him anymore. If he was the one then... I'd be a very sad girl.
We are so much better off without him. Good luck with Covid! (Also, our current boyfriend is way hotter. AND! We've kissed. So there!)

Love you always!

Updated on Jul 26th, 2021  |  122 words