A letter from May 7th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Hi *****, I've been dealing with this for a while, and I just need to talk with somebody about it. I think that I may be Lesbian or Bi. I've felt this way for a long time, but I've just ignored it or told myself I'm 'confused'. My parents are homophobic, they were raised conservatively, and I don't want to talk to them about it. They don't know yet. The church at ****** is really open-minded, and I just need some help working through this. I don't want my parents to know (at least not yet), so sticking with e-mail would be good. Thank you for being there, ***** That's the letter we just sent to our pastor. If not now, when? Sure, it's Coronavirus. Sure, I'm quarantined in with my homophobic parents. Sure, I have absolutely nowhere to go and no resources to speak of. Sure, I'm currently sitting in a closet (really) crying. Sure, I'm mentally probably not ready for this. But, if not now, when? Wherever you are, good luck. And I love you. And so. does. God. -You a year ago

Epilogue

2 days later

Hi dearie,

Well, it's a been a year, that's for sure. A long, 15 months of March with life transformations packed in to the brim.

I suppose you'll...

Watn tudeap an. . . Eb cfciisep i lpeuxnaas ot ndei,ed ma, req,eu. Dan tou ninnbaroy htat toko sa rneaoth le,wl or snthmo iegurf ot ouhhgt 4 5. Caault egvi adn reducbemenun a ,srhef wen oe,n emti and ofr i ttah a teh rnedge enw tfris teilngs eamn aveh em ,nwo oruiapeh urnoospn.
.
Eht smmeru aws. . . Ongl, was nad alfl oto eth. Meit nthe eht tnerru to came live tihw nad tneaprs to adn orf rinetw, ym. . . Ndtdi' i. No fo m,eht of mteh thrie neht dne hsru fe,lier nda panic ofmr afinrct a to sanntoct nda meca telf tuo i eekw a alcsl. Nad nda sfluera eedp to p,dee tecpxe sdneatnduisrnmig me. Ehrit bremmes ot ivle htwi suktc iwth ymp,caon adn o,s int'dd istneda smeo oficnsgatfu npeds i ,hrete lfmiay shnomt ot rurent nufdo. Been and eolvyl 'its.
.
May teroh sa cpeeexdt etcelsyr ouy aehv ntgish hacdegn ,oot ahev. Eswet awht a ym niahitrcs m)d,in not hgu(toh si hichw tfsreof i etaprsn ot ekep a of rtehdsa yuro eoynmra m'i eovl rof my ni asw 'ogsd cpirtpaaee od aprt sntriciah. Ihaeprp enhw otohhguyrl in adn le,mysf ngstih sgadrnete nad avhe apy)hp eenv( fnid mnay erve hnta hwo ton scea, i b,e lslit h,feidts hawt nda ebne heliw mofr ttha ayn i i m'i to aevh dpel,edove ueds.
.
Mseo eth 'im ni rtuf,ue eulhfpo for aysw. Fo wohle oabut tnleap teh salo a and as nsoaxui spissmcitie pohe teh and. Srdse,oc iefsgrn ightr?.
.
Ot dera ,you kcab nda eapcanct,ec ym ov,el iaitlvnado idgnsen.