A letter from May 7th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, I hope you're okay, and you've realised that there is more to life than his smile. I know there may be nights where you wish he was there again, but that doesn't make him good for you. Right now I'm reflecting on the times we laid awake, and he'd caress my face, or hold me and kiss me - wondering how he could do that, yet not care? How could he kiss me before he left for work, hold me every night, make me feel whole again, yet leave? He had to leave, you know that don't you? it's not how he left, but how he didn't come back. You knew he wasn't yours to keep, you knew this would crush you. I'm just sorry it happened sooner than you expected. Some nights I just wish he'd grab my hand again and caress my thumb. I know you feel guilty for pushing him away, but you knew he wasn't right for you, that's all. Have you stopped hoping every car that you hear approaching is his? Have you stopped checking if he's online? I'm sorry I put you through this.