A letter from April 27th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, Hey, 괜찮아? You’re probably in college, I don’t know where yet, did you figure it out well? Do you like your body, are you finally skinny? I want that the most right now, I shouldn’t but maybe by then I’d have snapped out of it. It’s during the whole pandemic thing, is that still talked about? I’m not okay, but I know it’ll get better, is it better now? I hope you’re happy, I hope you found real friends you can depend on, maybe had a few boyfriends or girlfriends. I’ve been desperate lately for someone to talk to, to depend on, but I think I’m alone. I have my sister, of course, but you know she’s head over heals right now. Oliver is amazing, I know he makes her happy, do you still talk to him? How’s your health? I’m struggling to find out what’s wrong with me, I’ve been in pain, I think it might be fibromyalgia, did you figure it out? What about you’re ADHD and Anxiety? I’ve been so anxious lately, it’s really bringing me down, is it better wherever you are? I hope it is, I think it’s this city that’s bringing me down, I’ve always hated it. Is New York or Seoul how you pictured it? I can’t imagine myself anywhere else, did I end up somewhere else? Am I still here? I really hope not, I might be dead then. I know it’s hard, you might be applying to medical schools right now, or maybe it’s time to find a job in Korea which is hard, are you okay? It’ll be okay if you aren’t, we’re tough, aren’t we? Well I guess that’s all I have to say really, my sister is making masks right now hehe, Oliver is in the living room and my mom is playing on the IPad uncle have her. Daddy and me...we had a fight, I hope we come through it but...he sold my bike, isn’t that hypocritical? I love him anyway. Grandma and pawpaw are okay, pawpaws getting better, I hope he’s okay then too. Aunt Mandy just moved to Duson, is it better now? She said she would make it better, hold festivals and stuff, that’d be cool. I hope you’re not on drugs, I never thought that’s suit is very well, but if you are stop it. I don’t think I love me, but I hope you love you. ,In five years.