A letter from April 17th, 2020

Time Travelled — 12 months

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, Hello, its currently April 17th, 2020, 4:29 PM The world is shut down because of the coronavirus, it is all very apocalyptic. this is my second email to my future self, I hope you're doing well. I read mine from when I was 15, last year. I was really not confident yet because of my eyelid surgery. Currently, my obsession is still Lana Del Rey, I'm studying at San Domenico, which seems so impossible, past me had no idea I would be here. I'm getting treatment for Anxiety and Depression, which I feel guilty for talking about because I'm not even sure I have it if you get what I mean. You'll almost be 18 by the time you get this letter, which is insane. That's a whole adult! Anyways, here are the questions I set for us from last year's letter. How are your grades? Around a B Family? I'm really close with my dad now, we watch Haikyuu together and I cannot be more grateful for him. I miss mom dearly but she's in Taiwan. I lost her silver earrings and I feel bad because she gave them to me and they were beautiful. Love life? Sigh, Still nonexistent. There's this guy in my class, Cameran, he's really, really cute. I'm also confused about my feelings towards Carys and Lola, they're both pretty and my friends. I'm on a facetime with Lola right now, she doesn't know I'm writing this. I want to be her good friend before anything else, she reached out to me and seems to really, really care about me. She's a republican though, which is confusing because she's a wonderful person that seems to care about people. self-confidence? It fluctuates, but ever since my monolid surgery I feel a lot prettier, and people tell me I'm pretty. But I'ms still insecure and I wish I was prettier. and I also wish I was more motivated and intelligent. I think I'm pretty smart, I just don't apply myself as most people do. Mental health: I had such a strong urge to cut today, and I feel like I've been faking everything about having bad mental health and that I'm just too sensitive. It's a bad feeling and I wish it would get better soon. My therapist's name is Gabrielle, she's okay but I don't think shes really helping me, not in the way Rachael did at least. social life? Isa was an amazing roommate, a little messy and complains too much but she's the best friend I could ever ask for. She's always there for me and I know I can trust her, I do make fun of her a little too harshly, just because I could. I'm going to stop. I have a bunch of friends now! none of them are necessarily close though. I eat lunch with Jack, Sophie, Angel, and Judy and Fiona. I'm also talking to Carys and Anaya, they give me headaches because I want to be closer to them but we don't have much to talk about. I'm very jealous of Carys because of shes strong, talented, smart, opinionated, funny and pretty. It's not a good emotion. I have Kara and Sara, they're my quarantine buddies and Sara and I love to watch Timothee Chalamet movies and thirst over them There's also my east 2 friends, Gemma, Clara (Isa's girlfriend, I hope it turns out well for them) and Julia. We always have fun although I'm pretty sure none of the people in the friend group like each other very much. And there's Lola, she's special and I feel like we just click, we get high together and we watch anime, we love Saiki K. she is also very gorgeous and caring, I love her. greatest accomplishment? I came out of my comfort zone and survived with decent grades to show, I managed to make some good friends and I sought help for my mental health. the biggest problem right now? I'm struggling with my mental health and self-doubt. and the coronavirus thing is giving me a lot of stress. I also lack motivation for anything in life, especially Chemistry. meme.palette?shes at 57.5k! but its quickly going downhill, I don't know why who's your best friend? I have Isa, and Noorun, and Emma, and Lola. I love them all a lot even though I still doubt myself sometimes. which school? san Domenico! are we happy? As happy as I can be anything on college/future jobs? Mrs. May recommended some colleges for me, its stressful because I don't have a high enough GPA and SAT score. How's Junior year? It's stressful but good I hope you're in a good place right now, don't worry about things too much, and I want you to have a good time. -stella, 16

Epilogue

about 5 years later

Hi babygirl,

I love you, I love, love love your mind, your humor, your wisdom, your grace, your terrifying insight. The world has recovered from the coronavirus sometime into your...

Niplaocpita ahs minakg to wchih croepss het hte obj raye co,glele pu, ocomnye cosden epnsisdrge eebn yet lsilt hhagulot kipc a has ibt fo. .
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Yre eovitrfa ew btu lnaa a yfilnetide sshe' to istll oeyn,rma o'dtn lsinte ntoef sa dle. Rgehetvnyi you a azaemd ma dlaendh nad to who dahr e,b at asn si i calep omdnoice. Ot ot in am eb ahypret peaepdnh i o,sehtn otshe rdiugn ofmr ltsli wtah eryas you rovgenecri. Na dversiuv sa we utnaom a dcli,h rest pu hte i dna as sunoermo iwll pcik tladu an. —'rhnodoorrt oerepnsxsi nac won, can ya,w ew'er of yuo ndogi gaineim uzevsilai i etrebt nhat ryw,or 22 ewe'r yuro tmlosa acn yb eevr ngmi!aie het oyu. .
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Dseu by norw weenbet cueynqfer lntbuceure nad egno hte onrduieabs ltesdte inyaml ot down oyu gea srtae hatt nbrgi uyro nwo, tiitsenyn esnpart ot tnrse s'it are fmro. Msrebpol tish ueebcsa yuo haev eoms of with maiyicnt. .
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Yrou eofrf of telegn etro:w dan ppeelo ,eolv ni neo to uyo se,teltr etehs rsfuyle,o oyu twih love atht b"e hte. Is is ont ont rnveeoye ubt amen eyeonrve iknd. Ym aertg ,ahetr twhi trpaeicc uotgiicnnn a alutd, i efrulac yuo " ot yginrt itsll an waht sa be ma mfor. ,out epepol yb mtso oyu tuhhgo? ,what lal nifd tanigas nkwo osdd a,wy dkin, to teh rae cmeo. Het hgnit 'istn ?ti elearzi a lword, to odog abtuo.
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Saolpnehtrii inwith rou ta edden 3 nda mestr iont ti in ifrts ew fo ogt esekw le,ov 2,2. On hte *** to nw,o rae one of ouy rsurisep. ,gdo adis eyo'vu the thgsin. . . I 'oduy teh mevio p,esbmorl aayna luodw ostmal rette,ah adn hlwso hnikt sttah me to orymem otn issking do altesc ni ermrmbee meemrber llryae hvea nstehgimo i i vmngio. Teh a,wy oyln arhee,tt ioevm dneeregate eht lwodu eht eb scesca "thearet uolwd uoyr rhcuhc boluetsa be adh ti nrdoigba slohoc, igdnur we evo"mi ont yb ot ******* a of nieauarqtn oyu. Sujes chtisr. .
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Kepe nihgnkti you i oatub. Alseptinrohi in nligy aoll adn bhatr,ee in ,xeients deb ni pelignh ni at o,hctu uchhrc amne ais's andgnic whit ubt eht erh hiwt ytgrnehevi aayan socolh now tgihn a. Ocsfduen a fnnuy wsa sai, sit' to ruo ro atnw sduesspepr ro tsju i'esfl ti gfieslne danstnedru i?t o,nw o,lla rof eiccl,h cr,sya wree rneev bouat ro aan,ya ntsi' we. Cecneaptac cenrati ew cbeeasu of rmoe teg fiel atht ew rfom cbemoe ehcra wluod buseeca sorpug uto evne nwke ,*** eerw daerhr loduw. .
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Uor edsutanrnd 'veew i esel—ti nteoitnat deurtn giyrtinrfe hkint saw ro i emhseoerw hwy ,otu kclodeb hsti. Dan pecctdae, yruo quree oyu sepcae aemsk a reyev sense iatsrict ringyt ,teigyrnrfi scnd,oe iglsr ryou oldve ni anigwk ewreh erew aiutpo nyi,rrfegit lvdie ewer nidamecp inot eht rdwol teinyrig,fr anrpets ti ot oyu rienfsd swa oevl on a rewe ormns swa ,iiyentgfrr ,deifden asw ioaslc oyru hnpoe eqesseurn wyh eht rwee. ,ywa uro ihatb oalthuhg a erwe' yb enver uufetr od eeedrp wnudo, i tewn eth si tlils ti prta ni fo aa,wy igndo have faiht ahtt, eth. Ihst tsi' smdeasn adme brte,te oru tra. .
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Fi:le icoasl.
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Ouy sned loco treieh yb wrcdso raey eth scoedn eth neocctp know i did eht oelcle?g way, fo nidd't of rftea. Tagre fo tosm hmet in reuqe gosurp het fo or wno in we angh oednvlvi star plee,po evlesra. Mdo aveh efw ew tucdoripon adn adem no,w sanhn)+(a snidge viavni nad do a ttha ywa, esfidnr. Igg gibstge nvasivi etarfh by royu adype 0$06 was. Mik nownij ,unoyg trubgho ndesig nmzigaa orrosfeps olas iayji fo elyk, mnyumitoc na pe:lope. Oy uyor leap eblu meetirdh dan iresno hrgobtu etan jrotpce dto nhsawmi oyu. Ewtn we cltoan,ds in n,calide aemd hsmnt,o veen ew otw edjenyo odraab raodnu ,euopre adn we dnaenlg stduy to ferdins in vsgniiit 72 engib. Egspa iemroesm dckasproebo up 200 dan of eo'yuv. Yuro uiertsonc qklcuiy cledian fo etroafiv one bmeaec. Awgs: necdiul oc,ng hrote nahhan, masyni aics,es elepop. .
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Irght recreash wn,o fnu nebe ash. No ubt iikan our nbee ithw abl esfoorprs ,gnge hsa ojy aalka,ym we hesist ,us oru nad goinlmo vole. Eevn tca. .
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,recrea pirteinnm—bta,tsa nrtgioaln levdi nie,ala eth ni nda lgsir my yttreein losa tzem of geelclo rof etrhe wiht naazgmi wvee'. In tyeeh'r aftre elnaia welih la dan a teadtrs own ntiadg tzem ,oot. Ot et,ahhl rof reh nda euufrt yliafm liinrshoapet prragom aae-eturelv qiut reh rssaetm slago og her meho etmz aletmn ckba her ot and iwht. An na aticilfy itssaatsn eey rcae nwogkri hom,e fro bcka vneiimitrdstaa sa s'eil. Tubao a,ayw had saspde giktna ti onarghemtdr nda age made arec bene usjt hre hsa me reh ntikh dangrtne,apr s'ehs fo. .
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Of a nda mivac,tsi ulbs,c and dmea sngpnied fo rgpou rasb t,caso in sidfern asdy iwht a hgrhout tiuaunlcmo socel uoy inbti yuo bhot ntacro are. Neyrlect hd,a)avrr cershrae ni a ot dsyon, rkwo l,xaei ni how( r,ieac eeglsa,n bla irarms yobbr eflt. Lyahlnicroc lnoien ,srtam of vntirba orupg ruep a adn ,hreated poelpe bit. .
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Eour,sc iuinavldid neirsfd eekp my i fo. Cco,o hoswe a but ,easlzdz rfnieg put elawth mesdar how dan uoyr cna ouy no ash porptsdue tdniitemsai sltnyleslree enrev. .
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Givanh tyohu eecnaacpct ,ayws os tgtneo dan alsoci efil derstat isth ttah ta odgo fof gihnsedd rfom micr,ednnest oru in mcea thta our of cryctsia epilsagn inhtg, ew've eopelp w'eev. Iniiemmz athw sprente, ustrt utsj iapygn eanrling erov lfese in etayhrp thauetin,c woh lreyda emnreierbgm to on raeb,kehart ma eth tgietng wno oru rsfe,et everlloa—n tsngh,i rou resad wlli gnbie it 'erwe rcipe i dna sdm,eujntge no. .
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Rfo woh of nad coilas on eg,piccant ruo uqieirtsc trcnoeiu iomintba tnroleat hyet os lla het tmeh syw,a but ym i aehv eseth eflagtru am at gihrt agnimaz fiel eepopl, fo era ,is look nwo, m,rats nad teast tbu i. To ton a tsi' eno tbu tgiitisnavegn oodg eav,h othrw hogutht. Batuo i gotuthh i yas rneev that esmfyl asliy,e odwul keam i eridfns. Theer, ni notofgi ysflem gel,celo uot fsmlye wn—aasd galcnsoiiiz nutipgt d,onuws tisll sitnteser, n,ti—sefrirygi uruectl ot em het it lahnieg nniifdg rsiungpu nadrou ym olovcuntneanni dlo my. Ude rnosemt ti nda aydpe fo eht f,of okol enskndsi ot utb how eepsr. H,mudleb dna drupo i'm ,eyarll. Notoemi setragn a ts'i. Lwli od eretbt omiytcmu,n ,em uoy uebsdrnoia est utbdo iang ognoft,i dnfi uryo htna i on vnee evha. Be l,hle yad oclo noe we acn mybae. Eth lcoo ststlee dnki lyelar ahtt ,oclo of. I ot aorfdwr kloo it. .
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Iwth uornon adn ym l,ainaj ekpe i rcosue, ,hhaas ,seno yda uohtc ni of. .
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Sgetatre mnao?lcmsctpihe.
Rkbic efli eingeluyn iotb,iamus am dna eystl oodg by kwor brcki dan i i thta i i r,dha torsh, i a a tliub hist e—inlki am rentlyospia eahv i nad ,nfeidr. Of 'evwe ot aitreolltinnnya egd,ree eno tolmas teh er'we hrtee oetprs,s leeoglc uor ntesperde dne. Syp tog a !)( nda to oint ew nda eirnepedpp odicmtemt syinrievut cmboiual. Uoy ,y(he cna a d o)cdo!rt be. Hysiawgh dngio nda nygrti ew cna ew ,wkor ngedis lcoo rae eiignsrcex or( ,ot) rdvei onrdcoutip won. No cema rdace detda out, ho, nda one ew a l,igr. I sturpdoe the am ym edmi,snt tnikh ewohver of i. Ngerol omfr fo ,ckla i adn and rehew ysmlfe krwo tpercse a acple ceam ypelur no i i fmor onw. .
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Rs?eagd.
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On of aronym,e adsawr ear a,rdges erduaagt in eon uoy ogdni ardesg aoyk, esmrt orem rae you fo as hoste eryou' hreet tnegtig. Rrseec,ah i a swa fro itknh ,eams rxtae an a eth we ti lsuahmef, to is the raye tbu od girht gdion hsyopolgyc is llew csie,ondi woh okot ti shdp dyota i aiclnicl ybo sa ******* met. .
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Nwo? rithg lbreopm het sggbtei.
,elshamsb dgpiroetn mfro rlmebpos eht ot gaitkn esgndlaoi and pturm omts minrgstima ia esmse eltsa: to in ore,v si be eht vlsaere mnoycoe secmir rcouvnraosi raw felt. Ppnengahi ehe'str wdorl aesrvel eht enicosdeg in. I ardiaf tciomm work i gspyyhlooc am to eetinstr of pu tonumemm eicrsacfi adfria ot ot rfo daem nda a gdis,ne ,job vige and to nhic lrypls,onae alcilicn eth idfn and dairfa. Vaeh 'todn nda a a,rc i i ih,st i rifldiengr t'don nad ehav a mnyoe heav lla ntd'o. .
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Lchoso: wichh.
A!vdsi.
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H?yppa we rae.
Gkirwno it, a adn esy tbu rt,sesdse no ibt. ,ucalatyl on. In arfe live i. Eb in now reom, eht pypah ereh wa:srne atn'c ohw i ppayh i i san im' i asw sya and sa edncomi,o lbae can sya wthi aws as aws msae m?a nwhe i to i cjiyebltveo.
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Oeeuf/glcterlu no ynnghati osjb?.
Eth tshi si tqieuons igb. .
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Sr?adem.
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To looc rvolse rddousreun nad wtna ehav who elvi dnki a sedfnir peleop looc pctaunociso by oolc lamsro, nda i addoer in yb ic,yt. Itlpeaton singde ym seu natw i aalyniaclt to and. Ntaw egmhison,t llmas ehva i ot ulshpidbe. I tawn eb rupod to my etcainr ********* nad of. Atnw a i dan emth ym ot nda ot dan elwl doog mhteneesvcia dad, mo,m iths rttae eb in hmi to nad adn castion adtrgeuh him nroho sceol be wlyaas. Efel dfntiocen tawn ot i. **** si fo onyme a ot want to em 1k00( otn r)n gnbwoi-dinml i make. To neenindedtp be i watn. Awtn to dan stmar eb uiulbfaet i. Dperscete poluerwf ot nawt eb i vetnrale dna and. Ey,h iwht otshne egbin usjt risedse my. .
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Eoph dentwa nda vgie a sawtn' atstus sjut maed het wsa os ym gtiniwr nda a oot hsonte i ttrepnouies, i 1,6 ee,rtbt ertriw i htat at eorm sbsnnetlu hntki htsi utapde ot rifoevg. Ym tihs ohpe cema i ermdsa lidub i ee'wv and ot of ywalas of htaw msoe r,teu pu eifl dedrmae epho ew. Htcse tsi' i efle u,yo ou,y a of ni am iwedr uorpd rdupo ym it lneef,ig ilwl so i eb so of i. A no 'eoyuv evyuo' gto oogd eevnr rettyp veag dahe ey'vuo evner tesdelt, duhloser dan u,p yoru. Vleo fro teh ohpe ouy i kogilno difn i'm. .
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22 age stleal,.

This user has written an update to this letter.To see what they wrote, please


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