A letter from April 19th, 2015

Dear Asshole, Listen, you can be kinda a dick. Thing is, in college, people probs won't respect that yaknow? SO, here's a little somethin' or other copied from a fucking Tumblr blog, of all things, to help you along. college tips - do not take 8 am classes - dont take 3 hr classes that only meet once a week - sleep - when u write an essay pick out the quotes/examples u want and write the essay around it - email ur teachers and meet with ur advisors regularly - quizlet - TRIPLE CHECK YOUR ALARMS - bring tupperware to the dining hall to smuggle out extra food - dont wear your lanyard around your neck - try to group your classes together in back-to-back time blocks. you wont want to go back to class once you get home - STAY ON TOP OF YOUR HOMEWORK EVEN IF THERE ARE OPEN DUE DATES - when walking on the sidewalk keep all the way to the right especially if your pace is slow - yes, sometimes we can hear the music through your earbuds. we really don’t care or mind - try not to eat a whole bunch after 10PM, especially fatty foods like pizza or lots of pop. you’ll get stomach aches in the morning - nerd clubs are 100% okay and there are tons of students who share your interests with you, you just have to look - take out the fucking trash