A letter from July 7th, 2013

Dear FutureMe, the first thing i wash in the shower is my neck (i start at the top and go down) i drink coffee more than alcohol (obviously) i would definitely kiss the last person i kissed again (jake) i do plan outfits sometimes i am feeling RIGHT now kind of ashamed and embarassed and annoyed the closest thing to me that is red is my wallet if i opened a door and saw a dead body i might puke and cry and hopefully eventually be able to scream and call 911 um i remember dreaming something about like a blonde rory and meeting him kind of idk three of my current feelings are mentally tired, horny, and rough i'm craving me some chocolate right now turn ons: jake, a nice jaw, feeling boners, smelling nice, being nice, lip biting, neck kissing, his sleepy voice turn offs: bad kissing, being weird and slimy and gross, smelling bad, being mean what comes to mind when i say cabbage "my cabbages!!!!!!!!!!!' the last time i cried was today wooo cause of that picture goddamnit i have no friends if i could be a superhero i'd just want to be super good at stuff ya know the person who hurt me most in life.. yikes i don't totally know if i know who that is i don't bite my ice cream but i don't just lick it i kind of like bite with just my mouth not my teeth favorite movie ever is kind of super 8 but i love disney movies and les mis was beautiful i don't really like myself i have never ever met a celebrity actually wait yes i have i have met peter pan i probably could not handle being in the military but you never know right now i have my headphones in but i'm not listening to music so i am going to listen to jake's most recent cd now thanks omg now i'm listening to like a recording of me singing but i accidentally didn't stop recording and i put my phone in my backpack it's so funny i have 'visited' one country (mexico) but obviously have been in 2 my parents aren't that strict i guess but like won't let me do stuff one on one with jake like go to chicago i would so go sky diving would i go out to eat with george w bush no i would not go out to eat with george w bush right now jake is on my mind.. i want to tell someone just how lonely i am. i love jake and he's an amazing boyfriend but one person can't compensate for a few "best friends" lost i have never been in a legit castle but i've been in the disney castle which totally counts and then that one house called the castle and i've been to white castle i rent movies more than the average person i think! my dad and i are movie junkies my zodiac sign is aquarius the last time i had sex was sunday june 30 2013 five facts about me: i am not a virgin, i am a lifeguard, i am not a robot, i am a blonde, i am not a good singer my near death experience um like driving karma and predestiny? i think i believe in them but just not so outlined as a lot of people do brown or white eggs um i guess white i own nothing from hot topic that i'm aware of i have been on a train many times i have been in love. i am in love. if i were offered one million dollars to sleep in a supposed haunted house, i would NOT EVEr if i could trade places with anyone, i wouldn't if i could shorten my life expectancy by 10 years but become more attractive, i wouldn't because apparently i'm good enough for jake now so why take away time that we can spend together i admire jake because he just makes the most of his talents and is so hardworking and amazing and good natured and kind my favorite bedtime story as a child, i loved when my parents and i read like weird scooby doo books i think like every other page i had to read i was 16 when i lost my virginity if i could pick the sex of my future children idk i don't want to but i do because i want a boy and then one year later a girl ughhhh