Time Travelled — about 1 month

Ji

May 26, 2016 Jun 26, 2016

Peaceful right?

It hurts to know.. you'll never remember the things I'll never forget. I remember every word you told me. I can't stop thinking about it. I can cry all I want and I can wish for things to be different. But that won't change reality. I'm not actually mad at you; I just want you to care. I'm sorry I constantly want to talk to you. I'm sorry when you take long to reply, I get sad. I'm sorry if I say things that might piss you off. I'm sorry if I come off as annoying. I'm sorry if you don't want to talk to me as much as I want to talk to you. I'm sorry if I think about you too much and too often. I'm sorry if I tell you about my pointless drama when you don't really care. I'm sorry if I come off as being clingy, but it's just me.. missing you. I know you're not my soulmate. I know you won't be the guy I would live and grow old with someday. I know you won't stop me if I leave you. I know you don't really see me in your future. I know you just want to be OKAY. I know you won't really want me enough to keep be embraced in your love. I know you don't know how much you mean to me. I know I can lose you in a snap of a finger. I know you can just shut me down like you did before. I know all of this every time you call me. I know all of this every time we make love. And the only thing I want is for you to know that I put down all of these thoughts just to be with you somehow. And I just wish you can love me as much as I love you. But like you said, I can't change you. So I'm the one to change myself. I will wake up and see the truth that all you want is a relaxed relationship, but I'm a girl who wants my guy to be all over me. I want my guy to tell me I'm beautiful and loved every day. I want my guy to do sweet little things for me, and I swear I wouldn't be happier. I want my guy to tell me how his day went and ask about me, too. I want my guy to love me as much as I want him. And I always wondered if these are too much to ask for every time I get turned down by you. I just want you to treat me with as much love as I did for you even after all the tears I cried for you.. But I grew tired and out waiting for this to happen.. and now I just wanna move on and stop this craziness. You'll never be this. You'll never try to be. Loving but not waiting, Bea

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