A letter from November 16th, 2012

Dear Adult Me, Yeah, yeah, you probably saw this coming. I wrote this as a teen, of course. I wonder where you found it. In a dresser drawer, perhaps, or in a pocket of your hoodie that got ruined because ink smeared. …I hope it’s not the last one. That means that this is completely and utterly illegible. Unless you have a photographic memory. In which case I wanna know how. And when. Because I didn’t have that on that European capitals test in seventh grade. Nah, this is probably in some corner of your laptop, tucked neatly between old novel ideas and Pokémon fanfiction. Are you still as organized with your stories then as I am now? Probably, knowing who I am with that kinda thing. I seriously don’t think we’ve changed too much. I hope your real stuff is more organized than this. It’s the other way around for me, as you can probably remember. Speaking of, what pronoun am I supposed to use? You’re smart- you’re probably out of college by now. Do I use I? You? Any idea? …You must be so big by now. Not tall wise, of course. You know just as well as I do that we can’t grow anymore. But by now you must be famous. You probably haven’t taken over the world like how I still dream, but you must have your name known through something other than simple fanfiction. I hope you are. And I hope you’ve found someone. Not a simple internet crush, but something real. Something important. Something… Something that I can write home about, you know? And… Thank you, I suppose. You’re… You’re one of my role models. Probably one of the best, too. Seeing myself in five, ten years… Whenever you get this. I… I love it. I love the thought of it. It’s something to work towards, you know? Remember what got us (me? You?) into writing? Sci-fi TV shows, anime, manga, video games… Are you still into those kind of things? I got involved with that kind of thing when I was a lot younger, so I really don’t know if it stuck. God, I hope I didn’t go though one of those goth phases. Or angsty teen. I can’t see myself being angsty or goth… Do you still talk to everyone? Shay, Draco, Alice, Ruby, Shadow, Justin, Dean, Mai… Oh! Are Mai and Ian married yet? Oh, I hope so. They make each other happy… And they deserve each other! And real life friends… Did Emma become a trainer yet? Is Kayla in the nuthouse? Did Matt and Larissa ever get together? If you were able to write back, I’d ask for advice. But, seeing as that would break the space-time continuum and probably get the Doctor on your back, I’ll decide against it. …I’m asking way too many questions, aren’t I? Making you upset, making you wanna break time… That’s really really bad. And I know that ‘cause of Sci-fi. It teaches you a lot more things than you can expect, doesn’t it? Well… I’d better wrap this up then, huh? …Don’t forget who you are, okay? Or where you come from. Don’t forget that you were a socially awkward fourteen year old from Wisconsin who spent most of her time roleplaying anime. Don’t forget the things you and Daddy made in the kitchen (I hope he’s still around…). Don’t forget the online people who encouraged you and said your writing isn’t all bad. Don’t forget the time you were an idiot and almost lost a friend. Don’t forget the teachers who taught you more about life and the world around you than what was written in some textbook. Don’t forget about the two (that I know of) boys online that caught your heart. Don’t forget about the almost mother online who knew so much about what you went though. Don’t forget the two you would worry about constantly if they didn’t talk to you at least once a day. Don’t forget about the two girls who annoyed you to actually get things done. …I could go on forever, couldn’t I? Just… Remember about your childhood and adolescence and everything else up until where you are now. And thank you for being something to look forwards to. -Sapph