Time has passed

Dear FutureMe, I hope you've finally pulled it all together and figured out your shit. As of right now in a matter of a year you should have gotten your BA, gone abroad, moved to the city of your dreams, and forged some sort of happiness. I hope it's none of that "can't adapt to change, don't fit in here, i'm so sad" bullshit. Cause it's always like that. It's always wherever you go you make no friends. You sit in silence for days. The friends you had previously you lose. Speaking of lost friends, when this gets to the future I really hope that all this adolfo stuff has sorted out. I mean, you go from having someone in your life as your best friend that you think knows you completely and you know pretty damn well too. And you're convinced he'll be in your life forever. I mean, a 5 year friendship? that's pretty good evidence that it'll last much longer. And then almost instantly it disinigrates. it's like acid being poured onto skin. It's fast and fucking dubiously quick acting. But hurts. for a long time. and washing it out makes the pain worse. friendship, in a nutshell. See, these are the kinds of things that are total bullshit that I hope the future me doesn't encounter. I hope your problems are meaningful and worthwhile, like world poverty or the glass ceiling you'll break through, or global warming changing the world for generations. I hope you have a job. And it isn't the same crappy accountant job you've had for years. I hope it's awesome. Like Human Rights Advocate or International ambassador. or ambassador's assistant, whatev. Something horribly unglamorous but absolutely beautiful. And if you don't have some sort of great job, I hope you're at least happy. Happy and satisified. I mean, don't get me wrong. I'm actually happy right now. I feel like i'm on a good track to somethign good in my life. I'm satisfied with school, I feel like I'm doing something with my life. and my relationships, while sparse are really worthwhile. And that's awesome. I love it. Every day I look around me and marvel that this is my life. It could get better, of course, and that's where I'll be in the future, the better part. But right now, I'm at a damn good starting point. And while I'm documenting my life I guess I should say something about Adam. I hope that when I get this in the future He'll have finally asked me to marry him. Or I'll finally get the balls to leave him cause I can't wait forever. Stupid, I know. It's a double bind really. If you stay with someone for so long just waiting around like a dumb idiot to something he'll never want does that make me true in love? or just an idiot? It'd be different if we wanted the same things. But obviously we don't. I want to get married. He wants to twiddle his thumbs. I pick fights to get a rise out of him, and he is absolutely monotone. I want to get married. And everyone teases me that I only do for the wedding, not the actual marriage. But it's not true. I could do without a wedding absolutely. I want to devote myself to him in front of the people we know and care about. I want to pledge my eterenal unwavering love. And I want him to do the same. I'd be happy with just the two of us and the moon. Or a secret nonlegal wedding in a forest. on the spur of the moment. That's what I want. And I guess, future me, that's what I hope you have. And I guess that's the jist of it. I hope you finally get everything I want right now, and have new wants and needs much greater than somethign I could aspire to now. I hope you're happy. I hope your health is good. I hope everyone is still well, like always. I hope the world changes. I hope our system revolutionizes. I guess what i'm trying to say is that, The future is my hope. everything. all of it. And I hope you don't dissapoint me. - Sydney