To my Unborn child

Yesterday I found out about you....I nevere felt so many feelings and emotions crash on me all at once until I was told I was going to be a mother. I was told all my options.abortion.adoption.or just being your mother like I'm supposed to. I could never take your chance to live life away from you..so abortion was completly out of the question.... but I don't know if I am ready to give you my life in whole....If i decide to raise you myself.....I am robbing not only myself but you as well....to have the life I want you to have and right now I don't know if i can give you that life.....I know that your father would do anything for me and you to be happy forever.....but I'm only 19!!!.......i have always been told that God would never give me anything I couldnt handle.....I never knew it would be right now?? And I want to apologize ahead of time for all the problems you will face when you are older......I am sorry for doing drugs when I knew I was pregnant but just didn't want to admit it to myself......Im sorry for the addiction im sure you will have ..... to whatever....i dont know.....but its so unavoidable in my family.....l will help you with it though......to avoid it as much as possible and to just be a good person in life.....no matter what i decide I will love you more than you will ever know..........you havent even taken a human form yet I have a love so unbelievable just for you only.....that i don't know what i can possibly do with it until the day I see you......so to my baby......I love you more than life itself more than my life....more than any boy I ever thought I loved and I love you more than I can even put into words......they tell me I should expect to see you sometime around the 21 of april 2005....so i will write to you again to keep you up to date