Are you still alive?

Dear FutureMe, I hope you remember (and still have this email because its goofy), that you had a suicide date planned. I hope you remember how depressed you were. I hope you remember how much you fucking wished for things to get better. I hope you have learned. I hope you remember the Jeydon Wale (brings back memories yea? He was/is jeyyounit11 on youtube.) quote you wished you could live by but you couldn't yet. It went "In life you live, you learn, and you teach. That's how I view it; I mean, you live through your experiences, you learn through them, and you can teach others through whatever you've gone through. I mean if you want a reason for what you're going through just think of it as you can help others with it; you can teach others with your experiences." ~Jeydon Wale I hope you got to do what you. Or that you're in college now. I hope you're happy with whatever boy or girl you're with. I hope you're okay. I'm not at the moment. I hope you made it past your suicide date. It was yesterday. If you did Happy 20th. Keep going it will get better even if you dont believe it. Bare with me since this is so long. I'm procrastinating with this(homework with freshmen year. Blegh) but I do mean this. I hope you have learned that it gets better. I hope you get or have gotten better. I may be saying that a lot but things can be shit. (Yes 14 year old you cussed. Dont forget that.) Im all over the place with this but yea....go listen to Welcome to the Black Parade by My Chemical Romance it's our favorite at this time. Remember you went to warped tour over the 2014 summer with Sammi. (Are you still close with her?) It was amazing. You met The Maine and took a picture with them. You got a bunch of merch you might even still have it or being wearing a piece of it. (or from another concert) Hopefully you still have the best music taste in the world. In lab science today you had to do a presentation. Coach L... said you should project your voice more and be more open with people. Hopefully you listened and did good in his class. Have you grown yet? Or are you still 5-foot-nothing? xD Speaking of other people who are 5-foot-nothing how's Dolores(barney)? Did you two go to warped together? Are you doing the tattoos and the road trip? Or is it called off. Do you have any tattoos or piercings? Where have you visited or where do you live rather? (Im in laurel lake still) Do you have any pets? A car? Short hair(did you ever get that done?)? A job? You better have a job if you want tattoos and a road trip. You need money. Anywho...peace tea...still drink it? i am currently as i type this very sentence i took a sip. It's getting late now and I need to do the homework I dont feel like doing. So good luck with everything and dont give up on yourself. Make the effort and feel good about yourself it will pay off in the end I promise you this. I love you. Okay I love you. You're gorgeous. Your younger self who wishes you well from now on till forever.