A letter from May 16th, 2012

Dear FutureMe, Bet you weren't expecting to read this, were you? Well, its me - you - from quite a while back. Hi. I wonder if, when you read this, you'll remember me writing this, if you'll remember feeling the things I feel right now. Just in case you don't, I'll give you a quick recap at what's happening right now. Everything's in a bit of mess, really. I'm not sure where I am right now: I'm not sure where I'm heading. I'd do anything to reach through this letter, tap you on the shoulder and see where you are, see if you're happy, see if the choices I'm going to make will be the right ones. But that'd be cheating - right? My future is so uncertain right now. I used to be so sure of everything - remember that feeling? It was naive, and stupid and so, so far from the mark of what life is - but it was nice in a way. It was a blissful ignorance. Life hasn't made things easy for us, has it? Our hearts have broken more than a couple of times in more than a couple of ways. Each time I've had to fix everything that's gone wrong, and try and move on, just in time for someone to shatter everything again. I wonder if you've learnt how to trust again? A few years ago, my trust in people was decimated by someone. Well, several someones actually. It just took the last to push my trust over the edge. Have you been able to put that all behind you - to forgive and forget, and find a happy inbetween? I hope so. I think one thing I've got to ask is: do you still love him? You know who I mean. Do you remember last year? Those beautiful, precious days and the pain that followed? Do you remember how much he meant to us, how you've spent every day ever since missing him, wishing he was here again: or has someone else filled the gap he left? I'm not sure which is the answer I'd want to hear. Did you ever tell him? Make sure to tell the people around you that you love them. Make sure they hear it every day. I'm scared for what the future holds, for the things its going to take from me, but I'm curious too, to see what it holds. I've got a lot ahead of me. A lot of things I'm unsure of, a lot of things waiting for me. I hope I'm going to choose well. I hope that you dont look back to me now and shake your head in regret. I hope you're a good person, that you haven't let people break you. I hope you've become the person I aim to be. I hope I can be proud. I guess all I can say now, is good luck. One way or another, someday I will be you. I've just gotta get there. I know it's going to be a hard journey, but hopefully the ending will be worth it. Stay strong. Don't lose the spark we have inside. Don't forget to be young. Don't forget to believe that we can make it out the other side of whatever gets thrown of us. Be strong. I love you, PastMe