Dear Future Me,
Happy birthday!
The only gift that I can give you is a memory of being 3 years younger. I've probably already given you a few extra scars from being careless ;).
You were dissatisfied with yourself, mostly because you'd been single for your whole life. Back then, you didn't know what it meant to love yourself, even though you knew that you had to learn to do it. Because, who knows, if you never ran into anybody that could love you for who you were, the only person who could do that was yourself.
You were optimistic, well, sort of. It ultimately boiled down to the idea that if you would not be wanted, you could at least put yourself into a position of being needed. And the Peace Corps opened up that opportunity to you. You had doubts about it when you started writing the essays. And you still hadn't submitted your application. Secretly, you wished that someone would come, someone who loved you enough where you would have a reason to stay.
You were a little bit lost, a lot of bit stupid.
But I hope you're still lost, at least a little, and that you're still a bit stupid.
If you've found someone in your life, I hope that this memory will remind you to cherish whoever she is, because you are lucky to have her.
If you haven't, I hope that you learn from the years, and learn to find peace with yourself. Human existence is fleeting, and the universe is infinitely large. In the span of infinity, the moments we are in love are infinitely small. But, for beings whose existence is filled with thoughts of finding and keeping love, it is forever.
Love yourself. Love your body. It's the best thing you'll ever own.
Happy birthday, and I hope you wish for something worth wishing for.
- Past Me
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